Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
