even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im holly from the hills drunk
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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