people are starting to question the shark bite story
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
