Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
