I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
