i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize