Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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