I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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