Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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