New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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