I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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