my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
