Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
