Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
