remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
