she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I smell stomach acid.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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