I feel like I'm in dance class right now
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
