Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
