i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
BRING THE BAGELS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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