we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize