they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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