She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
