Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
