so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
