Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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