Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
