...so i touched it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
