I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
