You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
