Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize