I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
