I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
