The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's official drugs can't kill me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
