He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
