Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
