Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
