no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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