It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
