she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
