So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
