Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
