I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
