The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
