oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Two words: nipple clamps
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