i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
