I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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