Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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