So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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