I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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