my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
