Yo dont text me then not text me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
