She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize