This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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