barbara walters just said penis...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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