He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
