i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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