actually, I'm a sock model
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
