I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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