so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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