why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
