I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize