More tranny stories later!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
