He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
