yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
