i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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