I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
