i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
