Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
