I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
