dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
